Some things you just can't blog...

Some things you just can’t blog… January 24, 2012 (day 1337)

I find myself wondering at times.  How on earth could I blog about what just happened.  I wish I had attempted to do that more.  Not that I would have published those moments, but that I could later reflect on those times.  Today was not one of those things.  Today, I blog about what happened, though it did not start that way.

At lunch, I asked Teresa.  Is that verse still in the Bible?  You mean the one about not putting more on us than we can bear.  No, not that one!  Okay, the one that assures us that God’s words never pass away.  Good one, but no, not that one either.  Well, are you thinking about the verse that assures us that no matter what God loves us with a love that is higher, deeper and wider than we can conceive?  Another great one, but no, I was talking about the one that says that God’s grace is always enough (always sufficient).  I love that verse.  I rest on it’s truth! 

This afternoon events led me and Victor to be together (no, he was not in trouble).  I was getting ready to head up to the water tank, so I asked him if he wanted to go with me.  Yes, he said.  I would like that.  James Taylor (I think it was him) sang about a roof top sanctuary, but for me, I have a water tank top as mine.  I told Victor that this was one of my favorite places because it was so peaceful there. 

As we looked out over FH from the side of the mountain, FH was a beautiful as ever.  Victor said you can hear the children playing.  He pointed to a couple of them and said that they looked like ants.  We were not quite that high up.  I said, Victor so much as changed in the past four years, and then he began to talk about different building and things that have been done at FH.  He said when he came to FH that there were only a few buildings.  Then with a smile he said, when the children want to know something about FH, the way it was, a lot of time they ask me!  He is right.  I stand amazed at everything that has happened in the last 4 years, but Victor has seen so much more!  But I said, Victor, I was not talking about those things.  I said, when we came, you were only this high (imagine me holding my hand out about 2 feet shorter than Victor is today), but now, you are this high.  He just chuckled, and said, yes, I have grown much.

We are blessed to live here, I said.  Yes someday, he said, I am going to tell people that!  Then he asked me, will you miss us?  Oh yes, yes, Teresa and I will miss you very much.  Good, said Victor, because we will miss you.  Victor and I have not spent tons of time together.  He has not been in trouble often, but still as I looked into his eyes, I knew that somehow God had used us to touch him.  Then, he asked, will you ever come and visit?  I want too, I said.  Victor’s response, good, I will be waiting at the gate for you! 

Today God showed me grace again (just when I needed it most).  Today God delivered his grace to me through Victor.  Thank you God!  Thank you Victor!  Yep, that verse is still in the Bible.  I do not always understand how it can be, but God’s grace is always sufficient.  Rodney

BTW, this is Victor

Disconnected thoughts...different emotions

(Day 1322) Disconnected thoughts…different emotion swings… these things being true makes me wonder how much sense this blog will make, but I want to try.  I have no pictures to share.  I only have the images engraved in my heart.  This morning Teresa and I met Hector (mission lawyer and friend) at the make shift Nueva Esperanza in San Pedro Sula.  Because of a fire at their other facility, NE was relocated downtown because of the damage done.  This facility is much smaller, and many of the children that were formally at NE have been circulated to other places (some as far away as Tegus).  The director is the same and she has such a beautiful heart, and her commitment and love for all the children gives me a sense of hope and encouragement. 

We went today because we have a couple of open spots here at FH.  Teresa had seen a couple of small preschool children at NE several months ago, and so we went today looking for them.  They were not there, but there were plenty of others.  Hector explained to the director that we could take 2 or 3 children, and she began to tell us about some of them.  One little girl (probably about 2 and half) was standing in her crib smiling, “Hola, Hola,” she would say and then she would smile some more.  The director saw me looking and I motioned, and she said something to the effect that she would be a difficult child for us because she probably has leukemia and has been taking transfusions.  Here the emotions swirl within me!  I know that the director was right, but that is not right and I do not like it! 

By this time, Teresa was holding another little girl (2 or younger).  “What is her name,” Teresa asked.  The director explained that they called her Allison, but they did not know her name.  She was found on the streets abandoned.  They do not know her name, her birthday or anything about her.  I really did not think that we were going to be able to pry that little girl out of Teresa’s arms.  Fortunately, one of the workers offered Alli a banana and that worked.  Here the emotions swirl within me.  I am angry.  How can anyone abandon such a precious little thing?  Yes, I know sometimes parents have no way and no means to take care of their children, and that too is not right.  I am angry that there are hundreds of thousands of children (some estimated 20,000 in Honduras) that have to fend for themselves on the street.  That is not right.  I do not like what sin has done to this world, and yes before any of you say it, “I confess I have played my role in sinning.”

Then the director told us of a brother and sister that had just arrived (as she told us about them, she had to tell three other boys (10 or 11) to keep moving.  What were they thinking as they walked away?   Did they wonder why not them?  Did they know why we were there?  The brother sister tandem was 6 and maybe 8.  Both of them were as cute as they could be.  I talked to them a little, and then as we were in the office, the director told the little guy and gal that they were not going with us today, and they walked away.  I was sad, but knew that they could not come with us today.

There are protocols to follow, papers to be filed before any (or all of these three) call “Faith Home” home.  In fact, with the brother and sister, there is a good possibility that it will take a while if at all, but then again, if God is for us, who can be against us, and even if they are, it doesn’t matter!  I am happy that God is doing such a good work here at FH.  I believe.   There are so many (many in the US that are abandoned, neglected and hungry), and I know that we cannot take them all.  But, some day, I want little Alli to say, I thank you God that you brought me to FH!”

I also pray that the couple that God is calling here will take that step of faith and say, “yes.”  It is time.  You are needed.  You will know some heartache, but God has some special blessings stored up for you!